Ayatollah Khomeini: I will not issue fatwa against Bill Palmer

first posted y11212
lastest minor change y11212
Copyright 1997 by Hugo S. Cunningham

Newsgroups: alt.genius.bill-palmer,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: I refuse to issue fatwa against Bill Palmer
From: khom@karbala.net (Ayatollah Khomeini)
Date: Mon, 07 Jul 1997 21:39:24 GMT

I refuse to issue a fatwa against Bill Palmer.

1.  In response to a denunciation from one identifying himself as the
"Twelfth Hausmann," I submitted Bill Palmer's Usenet postings to a
committee of mullahs for analysis.  I was surprised to hear they did
not find a single phrase offensive to Islam; even many basically sound
people can be found to have written at least one error, if you examine
their writings closely enough.  It turns out, however, that none of
the committee members could read more than 5 lines into any Bill
Palmer post without falling into a deep, practically comatose sleep.
Thus, this clearance should not be regarded as definitive.

2.  As a secondary charge, the "Twelfth Hausmann" suggested that Bill
Palmer postings, by their very wordiness, inanity, and mindless
profusion, were an "offense against God."  We felt some sympathy for
this argument.  Nevertheless, there was reasonable doubt whether BP
postings actually cause measurable harm.  It was even argued they
might serve as a penance of God for those who find too much time to
waste on a suspect medium.  Weighing all these factors, we could not
justify an award of higher than two cents for anyone executing a fatwa
against Bill Palmer.  Given this, we decided not to issue a fatwa,
lest they be cheapened.

--Ayatollah Khomeini

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